An Eternal Perspective

Well, I guess we need to update everyone on what is going on. I wish that I had some good news but to be honest, I don't. Yesterday they did a MRI on Grady and found out that the infection had gotten a lot worse. They said that it was starting to push onto the left temporal lobe of the brain and recommended an risky surgery. I can't remember the name of it, but basically they remove the frontal portion of his skull so they can expose the brain enough to wash out the fluid and infection. I know that it sounds crazy and after Velvet and I had a good cry we went to the waiting room to here how it went. The doctors told us that it went pretty well and they got out all the infection that they could. The poor kid is all swelled up and has some stitches running across his head. We took some pictures but forgot the cord to download them onto the computer. But take it from me, you probably don't want to see them. My mom and dad came down to give us some much needed moral support and we've talked with them for some time about all the outcomes that could occur. Basically he will make it or he will die. I wish that I could tell you that they are leaning toward making it but I just finished talking to the doctors yet again and they leveled with me and told me that everyone of them is very worried that the infection is still here. He said that we are far from out of the woods yet. I'm torn really. There are times when I feel that no matter what happens everything will be ok because I know that everything that happens to us is for our good. But then I hear him cry and I think of all the times that Velvet has held him and he's has looked up at us with that Bambi look on his face and Velvet says "You are so Cute!" And I think about how we have trained Axel to lift up his head and say "Grady" every time Grady cries and he then runs into his room to give him his binky and give him a kiss. When I think of things like that I don't know if I can stand having him gone and I realize how strong the Pioneers had to have been to cross the plains and bury their children as they came. I think we are reaching a very pivotal moment in our lives, where we can either ask "why?" or "what can I learn from this?" We were reading our scriptures last night and we came to this "For the natural man is an enemy to God and has been since the fall of Adam. this scripture says that we must be willing to submit to everything that the Lord sees fit to inflict upon us. I must admit that I have not been submitting willingly. It seems that every time something has gone wrong I have asked "Please, don't let it get worse. I can't take it anymore." Basically I'm asking that it be the Lord's will, but I would rather it be mine. There is still a chance that Grady can pull through but I think that we might have to prepare ourselves for the worst. Now, that being said would that be so bad? He is a part of our family no matter what because we have been sealed in the Temple. We won't loose him. And the best part is that he won't have to go through grade school. He wouldn't have to have take the ACT. He wouldn't have to struggle with addictions of any kind. President Kimball once spoke of how dangerous fearing death can be. He said that to fear death is to say that this life is preferable to that of the spirit world. I know that if Heavenly Father needs him more on the other side then it is better that he go. No matter how much we would miss him! I hope that you don't think that I'm morbid or unfeeling. I'm not. I love my little boy and I want to take him fishing, and I want to teach him how to ride a snowmobile. And I want to take him to priesthood meeting and to fix my jeep together. I don't want him to leave! I'm just trying to obtain an eternal perspective because I know that is the only way Velvet and I can get through this. Thank you all for your prayers on Grady's benefit. I don't know what we would do without our friends and family. And remember that he still might make it! God lives and Jesus Christ is leading his church today both by leading the Prophet and each individual! That is my testimony.