Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Worst Camping Trip EVER

Our camping trip started at Egin Lake where we went to take a dip. This is leg of our "camping trip" was really fun. We were originally going to camp here but the cheapest spot is $25. No thanks. Egin Lake was perfect for a swim though, because it only gets about 3ft deep at the very most, so Axel could crawl in the lake and everything. Plus it is really warm. He loves mud as we soon discovered...course who wouldn't love mud. He did keep trying to eat it of course, since everything goes in his mouth first thing. Here are the before and after pictures of his discovery...
I sure do love my man with a farmer tan. My hubby and my son who both appear to be walking and crawling on water. It's a miracle. Of course in my eyes, they do walk on water. ;)

Warning: The following passage is not for the faint hearted.
It was the next leg of our journey that turned sour. Mostly, I think it was the location we chose for camping...Beaverdick Park. First of all, the mosquitoes flock like the salmon of Capistrano. :) (guess that movie) After a quick dip in the river, and I do mean a quick dip because it was freezing, we decided to set up camp. While doing so, we discovered the mosquitoes had an extreme liking to the Hubbard blood. So, Eli decided he needed an extra strong dose of mosquito repellent. Grabbing the spray, he began his shower: up and down both legs, point blank range on arms, face, neck, and clothes. There was no way he was going to get bitten. During his "bath", he thought to himself, "Man, this repellent seems really crappy. It doesn't even smell like repellent, "which of course, made him apply even more. After doing this, he looked up and saw the can of mosquito repellent sitting on the table. Immediately his thoughts were, "Duuuh, what do I have?" He then looked down and discovered he had in his hand a can of cooking spray! What I observed first was the body building glaze he had on his arms and legs. It looked like someone had just rubbed thick cocoa butter all over him. He could have jumped belly down on the grass and slid clear to the river without stopping. We laughed forever. Needless to say, we could almost hear the mosquitoes saying, "mm, mm, mm, this guy's even buttered himself up for us...let's go!" And go they did. He had 18 bites on one leg and 14 bites on the other. The worst part is, it gets worse.
We eat and about 9 pm we decide to put Axel to bed. This became the night we almost lost our son. When I say lost, I mean gave away. We put him in the tent all by himself with very high hopes that he would simply go to sleep after a while. Little did we realize the fire of stubbornness that kept sleep far from his eyes. Let's just say he finally drifted off at 11:30 pm. And then, it gets worse....We decided to rename Beaverdick park to Beaverdick truck stop. Apparently, it is the hot spot to drive in, and around everyone's tents and then drive out. Eli never wanted to shoot so many tires out in his whole life.(or people for that matter) The second to last straw came at midnight when a group of about ten college kids decided to set up a tent right next to us. Don't worry their car lights shown directly into our tent. And then laughing, giggling, and talking for all to hear, they proceeded to set up camp. Eli with nothing but compassion, Christ-like thoughts, and charitable notions in his heart opened up the tent door and expressed a message motivated by pure love, "SHUT THE HELL UP, THERE'S PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP!" When that didn't work, he had to go pay them a personalized visit, with a much nicer delivery of his plea. It was successful, they quieted and all was well again...NOT. Upon Eli's return to the tent, two cars pulled up behind the tent and engage in conversation. When finished they peeled out at which point our son woke up and started wailing. The final straw was shattered. To illustrate this moment, we turn our thoughts to similar experiences of rage...like adolf hitler sitting in his bunker about to end his life, or General Custer when he realized, "I'm not going to get out of this one." At that point, Eli breaking flash light said, "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH." So, we broke camp and went home. All within 15 minutes I might add. You could hear Axel stop crying and give a sigh of relief when we laid him in his crib. And we joined him for a good night's sleep.












8 comments:

Anonymous said...

oooh, that stinks!! Matt says you should be a writer and I told him you are ;) I'm so proud of Eli for looking like a body builder! My friends used to PAM themselves up before laying out. I hope it got out of his clothes ok! Oh man, thanks for sharing such an amazing story. Love ya Vel!

Lora said...

I gotta tell you, neither David or myself can every supress a giggle when we think of Eli "greasing" himself up! So glad the story was shared!

Carolyn said...

I always love reading about your experiences! You have a way of making everything funny! I'm glad Axel got to at least enjoy the mud and lake!!

Katie said...

Oh my word Vel, I totally busted up out loud at work when i read about Eli's buttering experience. That is hilarious! It seems like camping trips are always way fun, or they are horrible--there's not much middle ground. Just think, now you've had your horrible one, the next one will be awesome! (Or at least just tell yourself that so you'll be willing to go next time. :)

Travis Gregory said...

What an awesome camping trip! However, I have to offer my two cents on the pam. You guys should really read labels better!!! :)

Caryn said...

I just had the best laugh I've had in a little while! I'm glad I missed that trip. I do have some other good memories from Beaverdick park -- ummm, as a college student.

Tiffani Tarbet said...

Velvet, you never cease to crack me up. That is an awesome story and made me laugh. Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

What a day!!!!!!!!!! I was laughing out loud thinking of the pam all over Eli! Wow!!! That is just priceless!!! You really ought to write a book, you are so good at telling stories and keeping us all captivated with what's next! We should go camping sometime :)